Chapter Two: Aisha’s Characteristics
Aisha’s Jealousy
Jealousy dominated Aisha’s heart and mind, causing her to behave in the presence of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) in ways that lacked respect and proper manners.
On one occasion, when Lady Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) was mentioned in her presence, Aisha said to the Prophet, “What have I to do with Khadija? She was merely an old woman with reddish gums. Allah has given you someone better than her.”
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) became so angry that the hair at the front of his head shook.[1]
It is also reported that Aisha admitted:
“I never felt jealous of any of the Prophet’s wives as much as I felt jealous of Khadija. I never even saw her, but the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) mentioned her frequently. Sometimes he would slaughter a sheep, cut it into portions, and send them to Khadija’s friends. I would say, ‘It is as though there were no woman in the world except Khadija!’ He would reply, ‘She was such-and-such, and I had children with her.’”[2]
Aisha also said:
“The Messenger of Allah would hardly leave the house without mentioning Khadija and praising her. One day, he mentioned her, and jealousy overcame me. I said, ‘Was she anything more than an old woman? Allah has given you someone better than her.’
“He became so angry that the hair at the front of his head shook with anger. Then he said, ‘No, by Allah! Allah has not given me anyone better than her. She believed in me when people disbelieved; she affirmed my truthfulness when people called me a liar; she supported me with her wealth when people deprived me; and Allah granted me children through her when He deprived me of children through other women.’”[3]
On another occasion, Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) sent some food in a serving dish to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) and his Companions while they were in her house. Aisha arrived, covering herself with a cloak and carrying a stone. She struck the dish with it and broke it.
The Messenger of Allah gathered the two broken pieces of the dish together and said, “Your mother has been overcome by jealousy! Your mother has been overcome by jealousy!”
He then took Aisha’s serving dish and sent it to Umm Salama.[4]
Aisha also said:
“I have never seen anyone who could prepare food like Safiyya. She sent the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) a vessel containing food, and I could not restrain myself from breaking it.”
She then asked the Messenger of Allah what the compensation for breaking it should be. He replied, “A vessel in place of a vessel, and food in place of food.”[5]
On another occasion, Aisha said to the Prophet, “Are you the one who claims to be the Messenger of Allah?”
The circumstances of this incident were as follows.
Aisha accompanied the Messenger of Allah on the Farewell Pilgrimage, and his other wives travelled with him as well. Aisha said:
“My belongings were light, and they were carried on a swift camel. The belongings of Safiyya bint Huyayy were heavy, and they were carried on a slow camel.
“The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Transfer Aisha’s belongings to Safiyya’s camel and Safiyya’s belongings to Aisha’s camel, so that the caravan may continue.’
“When I saw this, I said, ‘O servants of Allah! This Jewish woman has prevailed over us in her relationship with the Messenger of Allah!’
“The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, ‘O Umm Abdullah, your belongings were light, while Safiyya’s belongings were heavy and slowed down the caravan. So we transferred her belongings to your camel and your belongings to hers.’
“I then said, ‘Do you not claim to be the Messenger of Allah?’”
The report states that the Prophet smiled, although I say that he was angry. He said, “Are you in doubt, O Umm Abdullah?”
She replied, “Do you not claim to be the Messenger of Allah? Then why do you not act justly?”
Abu Bakr was present and was known for his quick temper. He came forward and struck Aisha on the face.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said, “Easy, Abu Bakr!”
Abu Bakr replied, “O Messenger of Allah, did you not hear what she said?”
The Messenger of Allah then said, “A jealous person cannot see the bottom of a valley from its top.”[6]
On another occasion, Aisha became angry in the Prophet’s presence and told him to act justly. Her father was present and struck her so forcefully that blood flowed from her.[7]
Aisha’s jealousy went so far that she deceived Asma bint al-Nu‘man when the latter was brought to the Prophet as a bride. Aisha told her, “When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) enters upon a woman, he likes her to say to him, ‘I seek refuge in Allah from you.’”
Her intention was to bring about the divorce of this innocent and inexperienced woman, who was said to be the most beautiful woman of her time.[8]
Aisha also said:
“When the Messenger of Allah began marrying women who had not previously been married, I said, ‘He has turned his attention to previously unmarried women, and they may soon turn his attention away from us.’
“When the women of Kinda came to him, he had asked the father of one of them for her hand in marriage. When the Prophet’s wives saw her, they became jealous of her.
“Aisha said to her, ‘If you want to win his favour, seek refuge in Allah from him when he enters upon you.’
“When the Prophet entered and drew the curtain, he extended his hand towards her. She said, ‘I seek refuge in Allah from you.’
“He replied, ‘You have sought refuge with the One who grants refuge. Return to your family.’
“The Messenger of Allah divorced her because of these words.”[8]
Aisha’s lack of proper manners towards the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) also reached the point where he would pray while she lay with her legs extended in the direction of his qibla. Whenever he prostrated, he would nudge her, and she would draw in her legs. When he stood up again, she would stretch them out once more in the direction of his qibla.[9]
In Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, a report is transmitted through Abu Ma‘shar concerning the Prophet’s marriage to Malikah bint Ka‘b. She was renowned for her exceptional beauty and was a virgin.
Aisha went to her and said, “Are you not ashamed to marry the man who killed your father?”
The woman then sought refuge from the Messenger of Allah, and he divorced her. This, according to the account, was what Aisha had intended.
Her people subsequently came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, she is young, has little judgment, and has been deceived. Take her back.”
Her father had been killed on the day Mecca was conquered, by Khalid ibn al-Walid.[10]
Aisha also said:
“I used to feel jealous of the women who offered themselves in marriage to the Messenger of Allah. I would say, ‘Does a woman offer herself to a man? There is no good in a woman who offers herself to a man.’
“When Allah revealed, ‘You may defer whichever of them you wish and receive whichever of them you wish,’ I said, ‘I can only see that your Lord hastens to fulfil your desires.’”[11]
Whenever Aisha became angry—and she did so frequently—she would avoid mentioning the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) by name. Instead of saying, “By Muhammad,” she would say, “By the Lord of Ibrahim.”
In Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, volume 8, page 89, Muhammad ibn Umar reports from Ibn Abi al-Zinad, from Hisham, from his father, from Aisha, who said:
“The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said to me, ‘Aisha, I can tell when you are angry with me and when you are pleased with me.’
“I asked, ‘How do you know that, O Messenger of Allah?’
“He replied, ‘When you are pleased, you say, “No, by the Lord of Muhammad.” But when you are angry, you say, “No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.”’
“I said, ‘You are right, O Messenger of Allah. I only avoid mentioning your name.’”[12]
Aisha caused the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) considerable distress and made him endure many painful experiences. However, the Prophet was compassionate and merciful, possessed noble character, and exercised great patience.
He would often say to her, “Your devil has got the better of you, Aisha.”
He was also frequently concerned by the warnings from Allah directed at her and Hafsa bint Umar. How often verses of the Qur’an were revealed in connection with their conduct!
Allah said to the two of them:
“If you two repent to Allah, for your hearts have certainly inclined [towards what is wrong].” (Qur’an 66:4).
That is, their hearts had deviated from the truth and turned away from it.
Allah also said:
“But if you support one another against him, then indeed Allah is his Protector, as are Gabriel and the righteous believers, and the angels thereafter are his supporters.” (Qur’an 66:4).
This is an explicit threat, from the Lord of Majesty, directed at Aisha and Hafsa, who frequently followed Aisha’s lead and carried out her instructions.
Allah also said to them:
“It may be that, if he divorces you, his Lord will give him in your place wives better than you, who submit to Allah and believe…” (Qur’an 66:5).
As mentioned earlier, these verses were revealed concerning Aisha and Hafsa, as indicated by the testimony of Umar ibn al-Khattab reported in Sahih al-Bukhari. These verses alone, therefore, indicate that there were believing women among the Muslims who were better than Aisha.[12]
On another occasion, the Messenger of Allah sent Aisha to look at Sharaf, the sister of Dihya al-Kalbi, whom he intended to marry. When Aisha returned, jealousy had consumed her heart.
The Messenger of Allah asked, “What did you see, Aisha?”
She replied, “I saw nothing of any significance.”
The Messenger of Allah said, “You certainly saw something of significance. You saw a mole on her cheek that made every hair on your body stand on end!”
Aisha replied, “O Messenger of Allah, nothing about you is a secret. Who could conceal anything from you?”[13]
Fatima al-Khuza‘iyya reported:
“I once heard Aisha say, ‘The Messenger of Allah came to me, and I asked him, “Where have you been all day?”
“He replied, “O Humayra, I was with Umm Salama.”
“I said, “Are you not satisfied with Umm Salama?”’”[14]
What kind of manners are these for Aisha to display towards the master of all creation?
Aisha also reported:
“Whenever the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) travelled, he would draw lots among his wives to determine which of them would accompany him. On one occasion, the lots fell to Hafsa and me, so we travelled with him.
“At night, when the Messenger of Allah travelled, he would ride alongside me and talk with me.
“Hafsa said to me, ‘Would you like to ride my camel tonight while I ride yours, so that you may experience what I experience and I may experience what you experience?’
“I agreed, and I mounted her camel.
“The Messenger of Allah then came to the camel that belonged to me, on which Hafsa was riding. He greeted her and travelled alongside her until they stopped.
“When we stopped, I realized that he was missing. Jealousy consumed my heart. I placed my legs among the arak plants and said, ‘My Lord, send a scorpion or a snake to sting me! Your Messenger is gone, and I cannot even say anything to him.’”[15]
Aisha also said:
“One night, the Messenger of Allah left me. I became jealous of him. When he returned, he saw what I was doing and asked, ‘What is the matter with you, Aisha? Are you jealous?’
“I replied, ‘Why should I not be jealous? Would someone like me not feel jealous over someone like you?’
“The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Your devil has come to you.’
“I asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, is there a devil with me?’
“He replied, ‘Yes.’
“I asked, ‘And is there one with you, O Messenger of Allah?’
“He replied, ‘Yes, but Allah has helped me against it, so it has submitted.’”[16]
Aisha herself relates these accounts and acknowledges that her jealousy could even lead her to make false oaths.
She said:
“When the Messenger of Allah married Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her), I became extremely distressed. People had told us how beautiful she was, so I found a way to see her for myself. When I saw her, by Allah, I found her many times more beautiful than people had described.
“I told Hafsa about this. We were of one mind”—and I say that they were united in causing distress to the Prophet.
“Hafsa said, ‘No, by Allah, she is not as they say, nor is she anything like the description you gave. She is beautiful, however.’
“I later saw Umm Salama again, and by my life, she was exactly as Hafsa had said. But I had been jealous.”[17]
Al-Samt al-Thamin relates another account:
“When the Messenger of Allah arrived in Medina as a newlywed with Safiyya, the women of the Ansar came to me and told me about her.
“I disguised myself, covered my face, and went to look at her. The Messenger of Allah looked into my eyes and recognized me. I turned away, and he turned away as well. I quickened my pace, but he caught up with me and asked, ‘How did you find her, Aisha?’
“I replied, ‘I saw a Jewish woman.’
“He said, ‘Do not say this, Aisha. She has embraced Islam, and her Islam is sincere.’”
I say: Aisha’s jealousy went so far that she insulted a woman on account of her lineage when she could find nothing in her appearance to criticize.[17]
In Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, volume 8, page 128, Ma‘an ibn Isa relates from Hisham ibn Sa‘d, from Zayd ibn Aslam, that during the illness from which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) eventually died, his wives gathered around him.
Safiyya bint Huyayy said, “By Allah, O Prophet of Allah, I wish that what afflicts you were to afflict me instead.”
The Prophet’s wives gestured to one another. The Messenger of Allah noticed their gestures and said, “Rinse your mouths!”
They asked, “Why, O Prophet of Allah?”
He replied, “Because of your gestures towards your companion. By Allah, she is telling the truth.”[18]
The Messenger of Allah knew what was in her heart, and it seemed as though she was waiting for his death so that she might attain some of her aims.
In Sunan Abi Dawud, in the chapter on joking, a report is transmitted through its chain of narrators from al-Nu‘man ibn Bashir:
“Abu Bakr once asked permission to enter upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). He heard Aisha raising her voice. When he entered, he reached towards her as if to strike her and said, ‘I see that you are raising your voice over the Messenger of Allah!’
“The Prophet began intervening to hold him back.”[19]
Ahmad ibn Hanbal also recorded the account in his Musnad, volume 4, page 271, with the following wording:
“Abu Bakr entered and said, ‘O daughter of Umm Ruman!’ He reached towards her and said, ‘Are you raising your voice over the Messenger of Allah?’ The Prophet then placed himself between Abu Bakr and Aisha.”[19]
In Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, volume 8, page 56, a report is transmitted through Ibn al-Musayyib, who said:
“The Messenger of Allah said to Abu Bakr, ‘O Abu Bakr, will you not spare me from Aisha?’
“Abu Bakr raised his hand and struck her hard on the chest.”[20]
Thus, Aisha received such reprimands, perhaps in the hope that she would correct her behaviour.
Her jealousy even extended to Ibrahim, the innocent infant son of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).
In Al-Mustadrak, volume 4, page 39, al-Hakim reports through his chain of narrators from Aisha, who said:
“Maria was given to the Messenger of Allah. She was a beautiful woman with curly hair. I never felt jealous of any woman as much as I felt jealous of Maria.
“The Messenger of Allah was greatly taken with her. When she first arrived, he lodged her in the house of Haritha ibn al-Nu‘man, and she became our neighbour. The Messenger of Allah spent most of the day and night with her. Eventually, he made room for her elsewhere, and she was moved to al-Aliya, where he continued to visit her. This was even more distressing for us.
“Then Allah granted him a child through her, while we were deprived of him.
“Maria had little breast milk, so she purchased a lactating ewe for her child, Ibrahim, the son of the Messenger of Allah. He was fed with its milk, and his flesh grew well.
“One day, the Prophet brought him to me and asked, ‘What do you think of him?’
“I replied, ‘He has been fed mutton, which improves his flesh.’
“The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) asked, ‘And what about his resemblance?’
“I was overcome by the jealousy that women experience, so I said, ‘I see no resemblance.’
“The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Do you not see his fair complexion and flesh?’”[21]
Aisha and Love of Worldly Life
Aisha reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) saw that she had eaten twice in one day and said, “Aisha, would you have Allah occupied with nothing but your stomach? Eating twice in one day is extravagance, and Allah does not love the extravagant.”[22]
According to another version, he said, “Aisha, have you made your stomach your world? Eating more than once a day is extravagance, and Allah does not love the extravagant.”
Aisha also reported:
“A woman from the Ansar visited me and saw that the bedding of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) consisted of nothing more than a cloak folded over itself. She went away and sent me a mattress stuffed with wool.
“The Messenger of Allah came to me and asked, ‘What is this, Aisha?’
“I replied, ‘O Messenger of Allah, so-and-so, a woman from the Ansar, visited me and saw your bedding. She then went away and sent this to me.’
“He said, ‘Return it, Aisha.’
“I did not return it, because I liked having it in my house, even after he had told me to do so three times.
“He then said, ‘Return it, Aisha. By Allah, if I wished, Allah would make mountains of gold and silver flow for me.’”[23]
Aisha also said:
“On one occasion, I put on a new garment and kept looking at it, admiring it. Abu Bakr asked, ‘What are you looking at? Allah is not looking at you!’
“I asked, ‘Why is that?’
“He replied, ‘Do you not know that when a servant becomes conceited over the adornments of this world, his Lord, the Almighty and Glorious, detests him until he abandons that adornment?’
“So I took it off and gave it in charity.”
Abu Bakr said, “Perhaps that will atone for your sins.”[24]
Abdullah ibn Abi Mulayka reported:
“I saw Aisha wearing a mudarrāj garment. I asked, ‘What does mudarrāj mean?’
“She replied, ‘This is what you call al-mawrid.’”[25]
References
[1] Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 4, chapter on the Prophet’s marriage to Khadija; Sahih Muslim.
[2] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d; Sahih al-Bukhari.
[3] Ibn Abd al-Barr, Al-Isti‘ab.
[4] Al-Ghazali, Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din, vol. 2.
[5] Al-Samt al-Thamin, p. 81.
[6] Reported by al-Hafiz Abu al-Qasim al-Dimashqi.
[7] Kanz al-‘Ummal, vol. 7; al-Ghazali, Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din.
[8] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, vol. 8; Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani, Al-Isaba, vol. 4; Tarikh al-Ya‘qubi, vol. 2.
[9] Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 1, chapter on prayer while lying on a bed.
[10] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, vol. 8; Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani, Al-Isaba.
[11] Al-Samt al-Thamin, p. 81.
[12] Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 6, chapter on women’s jealousy and resentment.
[13] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, vol. 8, p. 115.
[14] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, vol. 8, p. 55.
[15] Sahih Muslim and Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Marriage, chapter on drawing lots among wives.
[16] Al-Samt al-Thamin; Al-Mishkat, p. 280; Hayat al-Sahaba, vol. 2, p. 639.
[17] Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d; Hayat al-Sahaba, vol. 2, p. 639.
[18] Ibn Majah; al-Hafiz al-Dimashqi, Al-Muwafaqat; see also Tabaqat Ibn Sa‘d, vol. 8, p. 90.
[19] Abu Dawud, chapter on joking; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Musnad, vol. 4, p. 271.
[20] Ibn Sa‘d, Al-Tabaqat, vol. 8, p. 56.
[21] Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak, vol. 4, p. 39; Ibn Sa‘d, Al-Tabaqat, vol. 8, p. 212; al-Baladhuri, Ansab al-Ashraf, vol. 1, p. 449.
[22] Reported by al-Bayhaqi. See Al-Targhib, vol. 3, and Al-Mishkat, p. 272.
[23] Reported by Abu Muawiya. See Al-Samt al-Thamin, p. 59.
[24] Abu Nu‘aym, Hilyat al-Awliya’, vol. 1, p. 37; see also Hayat al-Sahaba, vol. 2.
[25] Ibn Sa‘d, Al-Tabaqat, vol. 8.