Mother of the Believers

At the outset of this discussion, it is important for readers to understand that every woman who married the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was given the title “Mother of the Believers.” Thus, Khadija was called the Mother of the Believers, as were Hafsa, Maria, and the Prophet’s other wives. This motherhood was honorary in nature and nothing more.

I make this clarification because, in conversations with many people, I have been surprised to discover that they do not understand the meaning of the title given to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).

When Sunnis discuss the Prophet’s wives, they speak predominantly about Aisha. They transmit most of the Prophetic traditions concerning the wives from her and derive half of their religion from Aisha, whom they call al-Humayra. This gives the impression that the title “Mother of the Believers” represents a special virtue belonging to Aisha alone, rather than a title shared by all the Prophet’s wives.

Yet Almighty God prohibited believers from marrying the Prophet’s wives after his death, saying:

“It is not for you to harm the Messenger of Allah, nor ever to marry his wives after him. Indeed, that would be an enormity in the sight of Allah.” (Qur’an 33:53).[1]

God also says:

“The Prophet has a greater claim on the believers than they have on themselves, and his wives are their mothers.” (Qur’an 33:6).[2]

Aisha During the Prophet’s Lifetime

According to the commentaries of Ibn Kathir, al-Qurtubi, al-Alusi, and others, the verse prohibiting marriage to the Prophet’s wives was revealed in connection with Talha ibn Ubayd Allah. He allegedly caused distress to the Messenger of God by saying, “If the Messenger of God dies, I will marry Aisha, for she is my cousin.” When the Messenger of God learned of this statement, he was distressed by it.

After the verse concerning the veil was revealed and the Prophet’s wives began observing it, Talha reportedly said, “Does Muhammad prevent us from seeing our female cousins, yet we are to marry his wives after his death? If anything happens to him, we will certainly marry his wives after him.”

The Messenger of God was troubled by these remarks, and Almighty God revealed:

“It is not for you to harm the Messenger of Allah, nor ever to marry his wives after him.”

According to the author, God intended to make clear to the believers that marrying the Prophet’s wives was forbidden to them just as marrying their own mothers was forbidden.

It should also be noted that Aisha was infertile: she neither became pregnant nor had any children.

When we examine Aisha’s life with her husband, the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), we find, according to the author, that she frequently caused him distress.

In Sahih al-Bukhari, in the Book of Divorce, under the chapter “Why Do You Prohibit What Allah Has Made Lawful for You?”, Aisha reported the following account.[3]

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) liked honey and sweets. After returning from the Asr prayer, he would visit his wives and draw near to one of them.

One day, he visited Hafsa bint Umar and remained with her longer than he usually did. I became jealous and asked about it. I was told that a woman from Hafsa’s tribe had given her a container of honey, from which she had offered the Prophet a drink.

I said, “By God, we shall devise a plan concerning him.”

I then said to Sawda bint Zam‘a, “He will soon come to you. When he approaches you, ask him, ‘Have you eaten maghafir?’ He will say no. Then ask him, ‘What is this smell I notice coming from you?’ He will tell you that Hafsa gave him a drink of honey. Then say, ‘Perhaps the bees fed on the al-‘urfut tree.’ I shall say the same thing, and you, Safiyya, should say it as well.”

Sawda later said:

“By God, as soon as he stood at the door, I was about to say what you had instructed me to say, out of fear of you. When he came near, I asked him, ‘O Messenger of God, have you eaten maghafir?’

“He replied, ‘No.’

“I asked, ‘Then what is this smell I notice coming from you?’

“He said, ‘Hafsa gave me a drink of honey.’

“I replied, ‘Perhaps the bees fed on the al-‘urfut tree.’

“When he then came to me, I said the same thing. When he went to Safiyya, she said the same thing. Finally, when he went to Hafsa, she said, ‘O Messenger of God, shall I give you some of it to drink?’

“He replied, ‘I have no need of it.’

“Sawda said, ‘By God, we have deprived him of it.’

“I told her, ‘Be quiet!’”

The author states that the following verses were revealed concerning this incident:

“O Prophet, why do you prohibit what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah has already prescribed for you a way to release yourselves from your oaths. And Allah is your Protector, and He is the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.” (Qur’an 66:1–2).

Another version of the report states that Aisha and Hafsa conspired together against the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), and that the honey belonged to Sawda. Aisha and Hafsa were close allies.

According to this version, one of them said to the other:

“Do you not see how accustomed he has become to this woman? He visits her even on a day that is not her turn and drinks her honey. When he comes to you, hold your nose. If he asks what is wrong, tell him, ‘I notice an unpleasant smell coming from you, though I do not know what it is.’”

Another version states that the honey belonged to Zaynab bint Jahsh and that the verse, “O Prophet, why do you prohibit what Allah has made lawful for you?” was revealed in connection with that incident.

The author comments that although the reports differ in their details, the principal person accused and the main cause of the revelation concerning the prohibition remain the same: Aisha.

A report concerning the two women who acted together against the Messenger of God and the choice he offered his wives is related by Ibn Sa‘d in Al-Tabaqat.[4] Related versions of this account are also reported by Muslim, Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, and Ahmad ibn Hanbal, with some differences in wording.[5]

Muhammad ibn Umar reported to us, saying: Ma‘mar ibn Rashid related to us from al-Zuhri, from Ubayd Allah ibn Abdullah ibn Abi Thawr, from Ibn Abbas, who said:

“I had long been eager to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab about the two wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) concerning whom God said:

‘If you two repent to Allah, for your hearts have certainly inclined [toward what is wrong].’ (Qur’an 66:4).

“I continued waiting for an opportunity until Umar performed the pilgrimage and I accompanied him. While we were on the road, Umar turned aside, and I went with him, carrying the idawa—a leather vessel used to hold water. He went aside to relieve himself and then came to me. I poured water over his hands, and he performed ablution.

“I said, ‘Commander of the Faithful, who were the two wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) concerning whom Almighty God said, “If you two repent to Allah, for your hearts have certainly inclined [toward what is wrong]”?’

“Umar replied, ‘How astonishing, Ibn Abbas!’

“Al-Zuhri remarked, ‘By God, he disliked being asked this question, but he did not conceal the answer.’

“Umar said, ‘They were Hafsa and Aisha.’

“He then continued relating the story:

“‘We, the Quraysh, were a people who generally held authority over our women. When we arrived in Medina, however, we found a people whose women held authority over them. Our women consequently began learning from their women.

“‘My house was in the settlement of Banu Umayya ibn Zayd, in al-Awali, a rural area approximately four miles from Medina.

“‘One day, I became angry with my wife, but she answered me back. I objected to her speaking to me in that manner. She said, “Why do you object to me answering you back when your daughter herself causes distress to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family)?”

“‘I immediately went to Hafsa and asked her, “Do you answer the Messenger of God back?”

“‘She replied, “Yes.”

“‘I asked, “Does one of you avoid speaking to him from one part of the day until nightfall?”

“‘She replied, “Yes.”

“‘I told her, “Any one of you who does this has failed and lost! Does she feel secure that God will not become angry with her because His Messenger is angry with her? If that happens, she will be ruined. Do not answer the Messenger of God back, and do not ask him for anything. Ask me whatever you wish instead.”

“‘Umar continued:

“‘I had an Ansari neighbor with whom I alternated visits to the Messenger of God. One day he would visit, and the next day I would. Whenever he returned, he would tell me what had been revealed and other news, and I would do the same for him.

“‘We had been hearing that the Ghassanids were preparing their horses for war and intended to attack us. One evening, my neighbor returned from his visit, knocked on my door, and called out to me. I went outside, and he said, “Something tremendous has happened!”

“‘I asked, “What is it? Have the Ghassanids arrived?”

“‘He replied, “No. Something greater and more serious has happened: the Messenger of God has divorced his wives.”

“‘I exclaimed, “Hafsa has failed and lost! I had always suspected that something like this would happen.”

“‘After the dawn prayer, I put on my clothes and went to Hafsa’s house. I found her standing there, striking her face and chest in distress.

“‘I asked her, “Has the Messenger of God divorced you all?”

“‘She replied, “I do not know. He has withdrawn into that private chamber.”

“‘I went to one of his young black servants and said, “Ask permission for Umar to enter.” The servant went inside and then returned, saying, “I mentioned you to him, but he remained silent.”

“‘I turned away and went to the pulpit. I found a group of men sitting near the Prophet, some of them weeping. I sat with them briefly, but my anxiety overcame me. I returned to the servant and said, “Ask permission for Umar to enter.”

“‘The servant went inside and returned, saying, “I mentioned you to him, but he remained silent.”

“‘I turned away, but the servant called me back and said, “Enter. He has given you permission.”

“‘I entered, greeted the Messenger of God, and found him reclining on a mat made of palm fibers, which had left marks on his side.

“‘I asked, “Have you divorced your wives, O Messenger of God?”

“‘He raised his head toward me and replied, “No.”

“‘I then looked around the room. By God, I could see nothing that pleased the eye except three animal hides.

“‘I said, “O Messenger of God, pray that God grants your community greater prosperity. He has granted abundance to the Persians and Romans, even though they do not worship Him.”

“‘The Messenger of God sat upright and said, “Are you in doubt, Ibn al-Khattab? Those are people whose good things have been hastened for them in the life of this world.”

“‘I said, “O Messenger of God, ask God to forgive me.”

“‘The Messenger of God had sworn that he would not visit his wives for a month because of his anger toward them. He remained apart from them for twenty-nine nights, after which the following verse was revealed:

“‘It may be that, if he divorces you, his Lord will give him in your place wives better than you: women who submit to Allah, believe, are devoutly obedient, repentant, devoted to worship, and given to fasting, whether previously married or virgins.’” (Qur’an 66:5).

Another account is transmitted by Ibn Sa‘d in Al-Tabaqat and by Ibn Jarir al-Tabari in his commentary on the Qur’an. It is also cited in Al-Sahih al-Musnad min Asbab al-Nuzul.[6]

Ibn Abbas reportedly said that the verse, “O Prophet, why do you prohibit what Allah has made lawful for you?” was revealed in connection with the following incident.

Hafsa and Aisha were close to one another, and both were wives of the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).

One day, Hafsa went to visit her father and remained with him in conversation. The Prophet then summoned his bondwoman, Maria al-Qibtiyya, and remained with her in Hafsa’s room. This occurred on the day when he would ordinarily visit Aisha.

When Hafsa returned, she found Maria in her room. She waited for Maria to leave and became intensely jealous. The Messenger of God sent Maria away, and Hafsa entered.

She said, “I saw who was with you, and by God, you have caused me great distress.”

The Prophet replied, “By God, I shall make you content. I will disclose a secret to you, so keep it.”

She asked, “What is it?”

He said, “I call you to witness that, to please you, I have forbidden my bondwoman to myself.”

Aisha and Hafsa had acted together against the other wives of the Prophet. Hafsa then went to Aisha and secretly told her, “Rejoice! The Prophet has forbidden his bondwoman to himself.”

When Aisha learned the Prophet’s secret, Almighty God disclosed to the Prophet that Hafsa had revealed it. The Prophet realized that Hafsa had divulged his confidence.

Hafsa asked him, “Who informed you of this?”

He replied, “The All-Knowing, the All-Aware informed me.”

Then God revealed:

“And when the Prophet confided a statement to one of his wives, and she disclosed it, and Allah made it known to him, he made known part of it and overlooked part. When he informed her of it, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He replied, ‘The All-Knowing, the All-Aware informed me.’

“‘If you two repent to Allah, for your hearts have certainly inclined [toward what is wrong]. But if you support one another against him, then indeed Allah is his Protector, as are Gabriel, the righteous believers, and the angels thereafter as supporters. It may be that, if he divorces you, his Lord will give him in your place wives better than you: women who submit to Allah, believe, are devoutly obedient, repentant, devoted to worship, and given to fasting, whether previously married or virgins.’” (Qur’an 66:3–5).

The Messenger of God then said that he would not visit his wives for a month.

When twenty-nine nights had passed, he entered Aisha’s room, beginning with her.

Aisha said, “O Messenger of God, had you not sworn that you would not visit us for a month? You have been away for only twenty-nine nights, which I have been counting.”

The Messenger of God replied, “A month may consist of twenty-nine nights.” That particular month had indeed consisted of twenty-nine nights.

Aisha continued:

“Then the verse granting the wives a choice was revealed, and he began with me, as I was the first of his wives he addressed. He said, ‘I am going to discuss something with you. You need not rush to decide until you have consulted your parents.’

“‘I said to myself, “I know that my parents would never advise me to separate from him.”

“‘He then recited the words of God:

“‘O Prophet, say to your wives: “If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, then come, and I will provide for you and release you in an honorable manner. But if you desire Allah, His Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter, then Allah has prepared a great reward for those of you who do good.”’ (Qur’an 33:28–29).

“‘I said, “Do I really need to consult my parents about this? I choose Allah, His Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter.”

“‘The Prophet then offered the same choice to his other wives. All of them chose Allah and His Messenger, except al-Amiriyya, who chose her own people. Thereafter, she would say, “I am the wretched one.” She would gather camel droppings and sell them, seek permission to visit the Prophet’s wives, and tell them, “I am the wretched one.”’”

References

[1] Qur’an, Surah al-Ahzab 33:53.

[2] Qur’an, Surah al-Ahzab 33:6.

[3] Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Divorce, chapter “Why Do You Prohibit What Allah Has Made Lawful for You?”

[4] Ibn Sa‘d, Al-Tabaqat, vol. 8, p. 182.

[5] Muslim, Sahih Muslim, Book of Suckling, chapter on abstinence from marital relations and separation from women; Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, Qur’anic commentary, vol. 28; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, vol. 1, p. 48. The wording differs among the sources.

[6] Ibn Sa‘d, Al-Tabaqat, vol. 8, p. 135; Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, Qur’anic commentary, vol. 28; Al-Sahih al-Musnad min Asbab al-Nuzul, p. 60.